We’re sorry for the 24 hour delay in our Question It questions, however we were out making mischief. Now we are in making mischief and our question this week is varnished with our usual naughty nuance.
This week, the Council of Europe have launched a campaign for the “total abolition” of physical punishment of children, which would include smacking. Lexis PSL and Researching Reform, as well as many others we don’t doubt, were quick to consider David Lammy’s contrasting opinion this week, where he expressed the view that a lack of smacking was a factor in the reason the riots took place. At the moment, the Children Act 2004 says smacking is okay, as long as there is no reddening of the skin. So, what do you think: is smacking acceptable or should we ban it?
Possible answer: We really don’t need to smack children to educate them. In fact, even if no reddening of the skin takes place the emotional and psychological messages leave long-lasting imprints, imprints which in the future may play a negative part in that child’s development. We’re also not impressed with David Lammy’s tenuous link between the riots and smacking. To us, at least, it shows a complete lack of understanding when it comes to parenting, children and development. Bring on the campaign to stop corporal punishment, we say!
“Lammy, who admitted to smacking his own Three- and Five-year-old son, said working-class parents should be able to physically discipline their children to prevent them from joining gangs and getting involved in knife crime” Guardian 29th Jan ’12
Many thanks, OG.
I have had 7 children ;all now adult and never actually smacked them ,just threatened them with a slipper without actually having to use it.I agree that you should not need to smack but one size does not fit all.Those parents that wish to smack should be free to smack as long as severe physical injury does not result .It’s nobody’s business but their’s and I deplore the fussy regimentation beloved of social workers who try to impose ,”routines” “boundaries” “tidy houses” “smart clothing” “settled domicile”and other similar notions on those who have no wish to accept them .
Frankly if a family really feel more comfortable with no routines,no boundaries,cluttered dwellings,shabby clothing,and constant moving around the country then that is their choice and no business of nosy social workers trying to impose theirr idea of an ideal lifestyle on everybody else.All the more so if those who disobey/are non cooperative lose their children to forced adoption by strangers as a result !
Thank you for your comment, Ian, which I agree with in large part, save for the smacking. It’s just that distinction between lifestyle choice and physical punishment methods which I feel need separating. Having said that, I don’t think parents should have their kids taken away from them or be imprisoned for smacking (as defined in the Children Act 2004), as long as no severe physical injury occurs, as you say.
Dear Mam, I remember as a child being hit with hand, hair brush and cane. I remember all of its hurt. What I do not remember is WHY I was hit.
Dear Phil, I believe you have hit upon something very important – pardon the pun.
Dear Mam, WHY. Do you know that the thought came to me as I read the RR post. Please believe me when I tell you that I have one relation who is 80. He will verify that our grandmother covered the piano legs. What I am saying is that the OLD Victorian ideas are taking a long time to vanish. Dickens only hinted at what was happening in Universities, schools and orphanages. I have written these two posts and yet am one of the FLOG and Hang em brigade but then I only mean this for adults. Consider some TV programmes where with the right guidance many disruptive children are taught to change(I do mean this) and are then Re-Loved by their parents. Just my opinion.
Thank you, Phil.
I’ve never hit my children or threatened to.
I have threatened to pull their arms, legs, faces and heads off though and always went to the effort of beginning the punishment, without causing any pain. I found this always worked in preventing unwanted behaviour.
For really serious offences, such as sulking, the bedroom in solitude and silence ‘until your ready to come down’ is favoured.
They are now old enough to suspect that I may have been joking, but still respond to the commands: ‘stop’, ‘standstill’, ‘eat your dinner’, ‘go to bed’, ‘wake up great’, ‘work hard’, ‘smile’ & ‘have fun’. They are remarkably well adjusted, sulking is their biggest crime and rare.
There is no need for petty violence against small defenceless children. There is a need for instilling a sense of ’cause & effect’ and of taking responsibility for ones actions. When consequences appear terminal, learning is quick. A mild slap on the wrist achieves nothing in this regard, who has ever hit their child just once? The smacking itself is not the problem, it is that the smacking is ineffectual in reaching its objectives. The child gains nothing from it, no discipline and no sense of right or wrong.
Legislation is already in place to prosecute violence and child abuse. Better that we concentrate on providing what the parent cannot by ensuring that we set the example we wish others to follow. Education is Key.
Thank you Stephen; yes, education is important.
The 2 main issues with Smacking & Spanking as Punishment are that
1/ It doesn’t work in most cases. The punishment needs to be immediate, ie; putting hand in fire, pain causes hand to remove. The “Wait till your Father get’s home” school of punishment is not immediate enough to be effective.
2/ Spanking or Slapping causes a lower IQ in the recipient. There are many other psychological effects. It is simply too powerful a method to be used for minor infraction.
The real question should be; “should we criminalise Parents for Reasonable Chastisement of their children?” Assault is already a crime, so why the need to criminalize something that doesn’t legally meet the criteria for Assault? It is also covered under the UNCRC. Depending on your countries interpretation, “Timeouts”, “removal of privileges”, “Grounding” or any activity that might be considered “Punishment”, violates the child’s right under the UNCRC.
The UNCRC is no mere statement that we adore children, it is a Human Rights Treaty which is legally binding and over-rides the laws of every country which have ratified it, the USA have not.
It also gives wide ranging powers to States, for example Iran can execute children, the UK can “sell” children for adoption but there are no consequences for States, only Parents. The “Best Interests Principle” is just a mere slogan used to beat parents up with, if anyone ever measured it’s effectiveness it would be found to do the exact opposite. Children are always better with Parents in terms of “Outcomes” so the State , the worst possible “parent”, should just leave families alone.
I wouldn’t smack a child but I would defend Parents Rights to do what they feel is in their child’s best interests, at least the children will have better Outcomes.